10MINMC.Ep25.V1.AUDIO
===
Trey Sheneman: [00:00:00] Most leaders are chasing the scoreboard that's in the boardroom, but the one that ultimately matters the most is sitting at your dinner table. Today we're gonna talk about one of the most challenging topics for me personally in all of business.
Welcome to  10 Minute Masterclass. I'm your host and lead MC Trey Sheneman. And it's our goal every week on 10 Minute Masterclass to be your weekly mic drive for business breakthrough. Now, the formula for which we try and drive and teach that breakthrough is through educating you in what I call the four core drivers of growth, marketing, sales, operations, and leadership.
'cause no matter when I was trying to scale a startup and take something to market, or running a scale up, you know, running growth inside of a large [00:01:00] organization, the big bottlenecks that I always had to overcome in the growth seat. Could always be connected back to one of those core four areas of marketing, sales, ops, or leadership.
Now, in today's episode, we're gonna get a little more personal than we normally do, and I'm really speaking to the business owners today. Uh, if you're, you know, a team member here, this can apply to you too. 'cause we all have home life. We all have people that love us. We all have, um, people that really expect more out of us than just what we do professionally.
But I want to talk to you today about really a, a warning. A warning that I was given a couple years ago when I met a gentleman who ended up becoming a mentoring glacier for me, we worked together for a little bit. And, uh, him and his partner just run a world class leadership organization called Lead Every Day.
Um, but you know, this, this leadership lesson that I learned from my friend Randy Gravitt, is something that challenges me every time I think about it. And as someone that's building an early stage company now and advising a whole bunch of other companies, that's the service that we sell in our early stage company.
You know, [00:02:00] and I'm doing it outta my house. And, um, you know, we're right here at home. We're, we're remote. The those lines between the work life and the home life can get really, really blurred. And the scoreboards that we keep for ourselves can get really, really blurred. And Randy a couple years ago said to me, and you know, he says this a lot, he's got a book about it, which we're gonna talk about here in a second.
Say, you know, Trey, if you win at work and you lose at home, I'm pretty sure you still lose. And that's the guiding light. Kind of leadership principle for today. So, um, if you have never heard of the book when he begins at home, you could go to lead everyday.com. That's Randy and his partner Mark Miller's brand.
And you could find that book when he begins at home. I'm sure you could get it on Amazon. I haven't looked. We'll put some links for you in the show notes. So you guys can find them. You can go read up about Randy. Randy's got a world class resume. He's been a, like a leadership coach to some of the like awesome teams like the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Buffalo Bills, and a lot of people at Chick-fil-A and many, many other people in the military [00:03:00] and business world.
Um, and he, you know, kind of the way I would. Sum up my take on Randy's position, and Randy, if I'm wrong, you can always correct me. But the way that I would sum it up is like, don't trade success for significant. Don't, uh, you know, focus on significance. Instead of on success. And the what you do at work might make you successful, but what you do at home is what's gonna be that makes you sig significant.
And, um, he, he really leans into that. So get a copy of the book. In today's lesson. I'm gonna kinda walk you through my core takeaways from the book. I would hope that you would still go and read it 'cause I think it is a must read, um, if you're in any kind of leadership capacity. So definitely for the owners that are on the call.
But like I said, for marketing team leaders or sales leads, you should definitely read this book. But here's sort of the four principles in the book. I. It really hit me hard and I'm still processing and trying to make sure that I'm gonna be a good steward of what I've learned. But the first kind of overarching principle is that you can't outwork a broken home life.
Um, you know, no business win can [00:04:00] ever mask the guilt of neglect that you might feel if you, uh, sacrifice your home life on the altar of your business life. Because ultimately it's our presence as leaders. That's the thing that's irreplaceable in our homes. It's our presence, it's our being present. Um, and the idea of winning at work should be nested under winning at home.
Like winning at work is what helps you drive. Winning at home is the more, um, preeminent goal. It's not a. You know, the whole work life balance thing is like, oh, you know, I've got a hundred percent over there, or a hundred percent over here. You know, that stuff's kind of a myth and a mystery to me. Anyways, at the end of the day, to me, your home life should nest around your work life, meaning you should be trying to, to deliver at work in a way that does not make work a substitute for your house, because there's not an exit strategy for your kids there.
There, there really shouldn't be. There shouldn't be an exit strategy for your wife either, but unfortunately. [00:05:00] We live in a world where divorce has become pretty rampant. But, um, you know, you're, you, you don't, you don't turn in quarterly earnings reports, you know, to your wife either. So like the rules of the game are a little bit different at home.
I. We wanna make sure that we're playing the long game with that one. The, the second point that I took away from the book was to be more of a leader, not just a provider. You know, I would say me included most, especially the, the, the male role kind of in the house. I'm sure there's plenty of working, uh, moms and wives here that listen to the podcast.
I would just say in the male DNA though. We will, we will confuse bringing home a paycheck with being our purpose. I know it's something I struggle with still at times, rears its head even in me. And I think one of the things I took from the book, and I've really in my own prayer life, you know, I mean, I'm, I'm a person of faith in my own prayer life.
Like, one of the things that I've been really thinking through is like the idea of providing for my family is way more than financial. You know, it's emotional provision, it's spiritual provision. It's it's actual financial provision. Um. And more. The greater provision I can give them is [00:06:00] connection with me and modeling what a good father relationship, a good husband relationship looks like.
It's that emotional side. At the end of the day, like we can't lead our clients better than we lead our own kits in our own homes. So this is a huge part of it. The third thing that I took away from the book was like to have, just in the same way I have rhythms in a schedule and a plan at work. I should have rhythms in a schedule and a plan at home.
Uh, you know, we do things like weekly one-on-ones and quarterly strategy plannings in a part of our systems that work. Do you, do you have anything like that in your own household? You know, are you doing things like a monthly family budget meeting? Are you doing things like a monthly calendar or a weekly calendar meeting, you know, with your spouse?
Uh, are you doing tech free connects at dinnertime where everybody can be preseant, like, what are you, what are the rhythms in your family? That you can run weekend and week out and it or month in and month out and it's actually gonna put more life back in your years. Big, huge thing that I'm working on right now.
'cause the premise that I sort of jotted down after reading the book [00:07:00] was like if I scheduled my family life the way that I scheduled my team life, my family would be thriving. And that's something that has been right in the front of my mind here even more recently. Um. You know, obviously we, for those of you who know us personally or have followed our story, follow me on LinkedIn.
You know, our son's health has been a little all over the place the last four or five years. The better way of saying it is we've had a lot of unanswered questions and here recently we've started to finally get some answers to those questions and to develop a game plan. And even just being able to have that on the horizon for us as a family is gonna allow us.
To make plans better and to have, uh, you know, more consistency. Something to be praying through, you know, something to have hope in. And so, you know, I just wanna encourage you to be connected to what's going on in your family in that way. And have some rhythms that are built in to make sure that that stuff that is going on is surfacing.
And then the last thing I would say is like, redefine a success story for yourself. This is what I've really been thinking about. It's more about the legacy that you lead [00:08:00] rather than it is. The plaques that you get or the crystals on your shelf, or the accolades that you get at the Christmas party. Um, even if as like a solopreneur right now, somebody running a business, even more than Herald's legacy, the Sheneman legacy is more important than the Harold Legacy.
The Herald Legacy should just be a chapter in the Sheneman legacy story. It should not be the whole book. Um, and at the end of the day, my kid's last name isn't Herald. It's Sheneman, and that needs to be a name, a badge, a crest that they're happy to wear because of the way that their father loved them and served them.
My wife should be proud of that last name. There should be a way that we're doing this. So, you know, your real scoreboard at the end of the day is measured in things like. Like last night, my, my kids talked to me. They made some game up where I was chasing around like a bull. I don't even really know what I was doing and what all was happening.
My wife videoed it, put it up on Instagram 'cause that's what she does when I'm goofing off with the kids. But my, my wife, my little girl this [00:09:00] morning was like, dad, thank you so much for playing that crazy game with us this night. We had so much fun. I didn't even, when I woke up yesterday, I had no idea I was gonna be playing Bull and Matador at my house.
So just be willing, be willing to jump in with your kids. Don't take yourself too seriously. I know we have to take ourselves real seriously at work, but just remember and keep your priorities where they need to be. So I'll give you a quick story. Um, a few years ago, my youngest was having a really hard time at school.
You know, food addiction, being transparent is something that I've battled my whole life and it's something that she's been struggling with even at a young age. And so one of the things that I did is I adjusted my schedule to be able to go and have lunch with her in her cafeteria. Now she's homeschooled.
We have a lunch date every Tuesday, and we've kept this going now for a couple of years, and it became such a thing. That my wife and my son have now raised their hands and we've worked it into the schedule where I get connection time. I'm grateful. I'm thankful for an assistant who also doubles as a, a nanny, a babysitter for us sometimes.
So shout out to you, Brooklyn, um, who will come over and allow us to be able to have those one-to-one connections. It's like 30 minutes here or there, [00:10:00] team, but it makes such a different in the difference in the way that they feel. So I would say. Figure out how you can adjust your own schedule, maybe in that manner to make sure that your home team knows that they're the first team instead of your work team.
So before you plan your next project, think about the family moments. Think about the things you're putting on the calendar to make sure that you're looking at home before you book a flight. Book a date night. Before you lead your team, lead your home, go get winning. Begins at home on the lead everyday.com website.
If you haven't already give that book a read. I really think it'll change your life the way that it changed mine. I hope you got something outta today's episode. Leading yourself is the most important kind of leadership. Don't you ever forget it. Until next time, we'll see you on the flip side.
